Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
