I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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