I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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