I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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