This is the prime rib incident all over again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
