I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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