Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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