Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
