and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
