I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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