drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
