We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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