Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
