dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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