you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
