She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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