We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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