I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
