That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
