i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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