I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
