I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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