"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
