what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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