so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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