You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
