Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
