And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Idk if I want to put a bra on
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
