I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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