did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
