Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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