sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
