is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this boner is exhausting
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
