i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
