Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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