I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize