if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
