dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.