between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review