She is in my trunk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children