i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess