how can u be prego again
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
