I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
