You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
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My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
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I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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