I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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