Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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