In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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