the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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