Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm drive I can fine osifer
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
