I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
