my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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