you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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