She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
