Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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