it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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