Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
