I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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