why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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