I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize