just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
