Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
