On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
