Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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