He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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