being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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