saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
